Week 2 Picks

Welcome to Week 2 where we now know everything about every team! Also, I learned that there are other sites on the intra interweb where videos and photographs can be found. So enjoy!

Cleveland @ (-7) Cincinnati
Joe: CLE. I believe the Browns defensive performance in week 1 was no fluke. A similar outing will keep them within striking distance throughout another disastrously offensive offensive performance. Richardson will actually go off on a long run or two and break the 88 miles per hour yard barrier but it won't be enough because everyone else on the offense sucks. 

Mike: CIN. The Browns defense can only do so much. I don't think this one will be close.

Final: CIN by 7 (MJ). Let's just pretend that we were both winners on this one.

KC @ (-3) Buffalo
Joe: KC. Sticking with the fighing Romeo's this week against the team that may have looked the worst of any team outside of Cleveland week 1. Hillis will get on the board this week. (I'm sure this will be correct just like all my other predictions.)

Mike: BUF. The Chiefs will expose themselves as the worst team in the West by losing to the worst team in the East.

Final: BUF by 18. (M) Indeed, the Chiefs are horrible. Browns get CJSpiller next week...

Minnesota @ (+3) Indianapolis
Joe: MIN. I'm picking the team that has a guy who can recover from ACL surgery in under 9 months and scores 2 TDs in his first game back in an NFL game. Also, I like when Jared Allen wears jorts.   

Mike: MIN. Who's the genius who grabbed AP in the 3rd round of the money league at work? THIS GUY. And who conservatively sat him on the bench in favor of Peyton Hillis in Week One? THIS GUY. And who lost their Week One game by 1.5 pts? Yeah. THIS GUY.

Final: IND by 3. Darn you, Christian Ponder!

Oakland @ (+3) Miami
Joe: OAK. At least Miami has this. 

Mike: MIA. Only picking against the Raiders and that cross-country hike. NFL players aren't built to play games at 9am body time.

Final: MIA by 22. (M) What did I tell you. Don't pick West Coast teams playing at 1pm on the East Coast.
 
Arizona @ (-14) New England
Joe: NE. The Pats will score over 30. That means 3+ scores for Kevin Kolb. I'll take the under on that. 

Mike: NE. I started typing out made-up reasons on why the Cardinals will finish within the spread. It was all lies. And you can't print that stuff on Joe's Interweb. 

Final: AZ by 2. Yeah, but next week the Patriots will win by 40.

Tampa Bay @ (-7) New York Giants 
Joe: TB. The Power of Josh Freeman. Plus, I should just ignore all rational knowledge I put into these picks.

Mike: NYG. Sometimes I think Joe picks like this simply to make me feel better about winning some of the time.

Final: NYG by 7. (MJ). Again, let's make ourselves winners and each get a point on the push.

Baltimore @ (-3) Philadelphia
Joe: BAL. This could be the dumbest line of the week. The Ravens looked great week 1 and the Eagles almost lost to this. But since I'm terrible at picking NFL games, Vick will be amazing and Philly should cruise to victory.

Mike: PHI. Mike Vick was miked up in that game against the Browns and in his pregame chant to pump up his team, he says to take it one game at a time and they needed to focus on the Cleveland Browns. Well, he was full of it. They were looking ahead to this game.

Final: PHI by 1. (J) Ah, the point spread saved you.

New Orleans @ (+3) Carolina
Joe: CAR. The free fall continues. Shouldn't a better version of RGIII in Cam Newton be able to dominate a disorganized organization like the Saints are right now? The answer is YES, but I'm picking the Panthers so your final will be 45-17 Saints.

Mike: NO. Homerism is rubbing off for this pick. Saints didn't look so great in the opening week but maybe it's tough without your head coach. No doubt Cam Newton is tough -- Griffin will have the better career -- but the rest of the Panther lineup lacks.

Final: CAR by 8. (J) Whewie, things are looking bad in the Bayou.

Houston @ (+8) Jacksonville
Joe: JAX. Yep, I'm going with Blaine Gabbert and his Godlike hair. He reminds me a little of this guy and I think we all know how his career is going. OK, so his game doesn't remind anyone of Brady but damn I wish my hair still grew. 
Mike: HOU. First of all, the hair on the back of your head and around your ears grows just fine. Nourish it, let it grow free in it's own Godlike way. I wish I had the time to link to videos.
Final: HOU by 20. (M) The first of many lopsided wins for the Texans this year.

Washington @ (+4) St. Louis
Joe: STL. There will be no Griffining allowed. (I'd like to thank my girl Erin Andrews for volunteering to be in that photo.) Now, where was I? Who cares, more of this. That's Erin and her sister Kendra. They are dancers. 

(I just blacked out)

(Moving on)

Mike: WAS.  Thank you for introducing me to Griffining. Funny.

Final: STL by 3. (J) There goes Griffin's perfect season.

Dallas @ (+3) Seattle
Joe: DAL. When you give up a game winning drive to Kevin Kolb in week 1, you cannot be trusted the next week. I'm talking to you Seattle. I thought we had something here, but then I remembered Pete Carroll is your Head Coach and this isn't USC. 
Mike: DAL. Not a believer in the Seahawks.
Final: SEA by 20. I'm still not going gungho over Seattle. Sorry.

New York Jets @ (-6) Pittsburgh
Joe: PIT. I HATE Pittsburgh but not as much as this or this.    
Mike: NYJ. You hate them yet you pick them? Is that a hate/like relationship?
Final: PIT by 17. (J) The Jets needed an 18 point spread.

Tennessee @ (-6) San Diego
Joe: TEN. The Titans have to travel about 10,000 or so miles. I think that could have an effect on them, even if they are traveling back in time. I know two Back to the Future references is a little shaky but whoever doesn't love that movie or Huey Lewis probably also doesn't know the true meaning of San Diego. 

Mike: SD. Jake Locker is the future answer but he's going to have rough patches that make him look almost as bad as Brandon Weeden. 

Final: SD by 28. (M) Tough times in Tennessee. Jimmy Haslan is actually thankful he is about to own the Browns instead of the Titans.

Detroit @ (-7) San Francisco
Joe: SF. Because when coaches do this instead of this, they should have been my Super Bowl pick.   

Mike: DET. The Lions are going to build up a solid regular season record so they can play at home in the playoffs. Watch out. 

Final: SF by 8. (J) I watched not a single play of this game.

Denver @ (-3) Atlanta
Joe: DEN. Manning under the lights is still a lock. Unless it isn't.

Mike: ATL.  Enough of this picking business. Any more links to Erin Andrews Griffining?

Final: ATL by 6. (M). It wasn't.

Week 2 Results:
Mike:8-8
Joe:  6-10

Standings after Week 2:
Mike: 14-18
Joe: 11-21