Week One picks, continued

PHI (-10) @ CLE
Mike: CLE 16-9. Since 1999, history has been against the Browns. Starting with the infliction of the the Modell/Lerner Jinx (let's not ignore Al Lerner's presense at Art Modell's introduction in Baltimore), over 13 seasons, the Browns have won one single game in the season opener, including the last seven in a row.
But if things are ever to turn around, don't all signs point to now? Art Modell has transitioned from present to past and so has the Lerner reign. Good riddance. And Jimmy Haslan's short relationship with Pittsburgh only makes this better. It's a perfect sign from the football gods.
There is plenty of Cleveland and Ohio blood running through the veins of Pittsburgh football history. What better to break the years of Cleveland suffering than the death of the betraying owner, the washing of hands of the Lerner relationship than an antidote originating from the source of the Ohio River.
It's a new age, Cleveland fans. The comeback starts now.
Joe: PHI. Couldn't have said it better myself and I agree with all of that except the comeback starts.....next year. But here's to hoping!
Final: PHI 17-16. (MX) Well, at least I predicted that defensive TD and three Phil field goals but I failed to foresee that final Eagle touchdown. Joe's right. The corner has been turned but this might not be the year just yet.

IND (+10) @ CHI
Mike: IND. It was destiny that LUCK would wear the horseshoe on his helmet. There was no better prospect to fill Peyton's cleats, or should I say, Curtis Painter's -- the guy who will be known forever in trivia as the starting quarterback between the Manning/Luck eras.
Joe: IND. Really Manning's newly fused neck screwed the Browns in the end. Had it held together, Cleveland surely loses to the Colts last season, ends up with the #2 pick behind the Rams, and drafts Mr. Luck. Thanks a lot vertebrae.
Final: CHI 41-21 (XX) We should have known better than to pick a terrible team with a rookie quarterback at Soldier Field.

STL (+9) @ DET
Mike: DET. Fourteen years ago, I made bet with a Lions fan for a hundred bucks that the Browns would win a Super Bowl before Detroit. I'm not feeling too confident about that wager anymore. If Detroit ever plays a playoff string indoors, I'm out a hundie.
Joe: DET. Make or break year for Sam Bradford. It's going to end up 'break' and the Rams may end up choosing to go with Matt Barkley next year.
Final: DET 27-23 (XX) Bradford came up big at the end, keeping his cool for the game winning score.

NE (-6) @ TEN
Mike: NE. The Titans are going with Jake Locker at QB, shifting old man Hasslebeck to the clipboard. With Britt and that rookie WR kid joining Chris Johnson (who should bounce back, right?) things will be looking up. Regardless, I doubt the Titans come out of the box hot and NE will pounce, win and cover, barely.
Joe: NE. Brady and Co. are more explosive than ever. I see them putting up 40 in this one, something that the Titans won't do all season.
Final: NE 34-13 (MJ) CJ did not bounce back, Locker got hurt and the Patriots win easily.

ATL (-3) @ KC
Mike: KC. I'm sure the weather will be nice but the big difference between dome and outdoor fields will give the Falcons a tough time. Matt Ryan is a player to watch this year and could join the ranks of Aaron Rodgers and Matt Stafford if things come together. For this game, I go with the play of Hillis and Charles, putting the Chiefs on top. Which is stupid now that I read what I wrote. Oh well, sticking with KC.
Joe: KC. I have both teams in the playoffs this season but the Chiefs home field provides the difference in the opener. Watch Peyton Hillis rumble for a TD late to clinch it for the Romeo's.
Final: ATL 40-24 (XX) I went with Hillis over Matt Ryan? I deserve to lose. And I'll be on the lookout for that Chiefs playoff appearance -- in 2018.

JAX (+4) @ MIN
Mike: MIN. I really have no idea what to think about this game. If this was the lone Sunday afternoon game, I'd probably mow the yard.
Joe: MIN. Gabbert vs Ponder. How did this happen? Makes you long for the days of Garrard vs Tarvaris Jackson.
Final: MIN 26-23 (XX) The first game to go into revised overtime, or so I am told.

WAS (+8) @ NO
Mike: NO. This is our local game and I'm looking forward to watching this one almost as much as sneaking around online for an illegal feed of the Browns game. I have no doubt Griffin will be a top-5 quarterback soon, but not in Week One and maybe not in Year One. The Saints will be geared up for a bigtime blowout.
Joe: NO. New Orleans didn't lose a home game last year and averaged over 40 per game. That continues in the opener when they take out their offseason frustrations on the Redskins.
Final:  WASH 40-32 (XX) Browns fans are already lementing the Trade The Never Was. What's the best way to put that in Clevelandese? The Outbid?

BUF (+3) @ NYJ
Mike:  NYJ. Everybody thinks the Jets are on the brink of implosion but I think the acquisition of Tebow will help spark a few wins that might have otherwise been losses. Rex Ryan will make sure both his quarterbacks are on the highlight reels. Buffalo? Yawn. Overachieved last year and will descend softly back to the cellar of the AFC East.
Joe: BUF. I'm going against God in this one, but as a Browns fan can I really be blamed? Buffalo makes a run at a playoff spot this year, while the Jets only run in the rain with their shirts off.
Final: NYJ 48-28 (MX). The Jets are not that good and the Bills are not that .... err, wait, yes they are.

MIA (+13) @ HOU
Mike: HOU. The Texans are the sleeper team to beat this year. If Arian Foster and Andre Johnson are healthy all year, and if their defense is as good as last year, they'll be tough to beat. I don't have HBO so I can't tell you much about the Dolphins.
Joe: HOU. Texans could reach the Super Bowl. Tannehill's hot wife won't be smiling too much this season, but she will catch more action than the Dolphin WRs.
Final: HOU 30-10 (MJ) I expect to see a lot more of this from each team this season. Houston scoring a ton of points and the Dolphins losing by a ton of points.

SF (+5) @ GB
Mike: GB. Only favored by 5 points? I'll take the Packers at home and give up five any day.
Joe: GB. Alex Smith will not put up enough points. 
Final: SF 30-22 (XX) I refuse to believe the 49ers are for real. But they certainly shut down the Packers.

SEA (-3) @ AZ
Mike: SEA. Russell Wilson, a 3rd round quarterback, will outshine whichever QB the Cardinals throw out there today. Is Derek Anderson still around?
Joe: SEA. Seattle is a sleeper playoff team and doesn't lose to crap like Arizona at home. 
Final: AZ 20-16 (XX) Haha, nice one bro.

CAR (-3) @ TB
Mike: CAR. The power of Cam Newton.
Joe: TB. I have to go against my gut feeling on one of these. The power of Josh Freeman?
Final: TB 16-10 (XJ) I have no idea what happened in this game. That puts me in the 99%.

PIT (+2) @ DEN
Mike: DEN. Will it be weird to see Peyton Manning wearing Broncos gear? Nothing will ever top Joe Montana wearing Chief-red. Or Bernie with a star on his helmet.
Joe: DEN. Like I was going to pick Pittsburgh.
Final: DEN 31-19 (MJ) This might have been the only good thing to come out of Week One, and yet even this brought a smile to John Elway's enormous head which makes me sad.

CIN (+7) @ BAL
Mike: CIN. How about we make this game exciting and keep Modell's casket at the 50 yard line during the game? It wouldn't be the first time Ray Lewis had to maneuver around dead bodies.
Joe: BAL. Baltimore honors Modell by destroying another Ohio city.
Final: BAL 44-13 (XJ) The question is: Should I pick up the Cleveland or Cincinnati defense for fantasy football next week? Are we looking at a 13-12 non-offensive battle?

SD (+1) @ OAK
Mike: If the Jets can take advantage of Tebow's rushing skills, wouldn't the Raiders be advised to do the same with Terrell Pryor?
Joe: OAK. I'll take whoever is coaching the Raiders over Norv Turner.
Final: SD 22-14 (XX). Seeing as I forgot to actually pick a winner, there was no winner in this game.

Week 1 Tally:
Mike: 6-10
Joe:  5-11
A terrible week for each brother. Off to your respective rooms without dinner. Think about these terrible picks and I don't want to see this happening again.