Week 14 Picks

Thursday Night Football:
DEN @ OAK (+10.5)
Mike: OAK. Just because of principle that a home team should never be an 11 point 'dog. Where's your pride, Raider Nation?
Joe: DEN. Because out of principal that if you lose to the Browns you will never win. Mike is clearly crazy & hasn't seen either team all season.
Final: DEN by two touchdowns. Honestly, this was the first time I'd seen the Raiders play this year, outside of the brief highight or RedZone cameo. Man, they're horrible.

Sunday Football:
STL @ BUF (-3.5)
Joe: STL. The great Rams-Bills rivalry renewed.
Mike: BUF. Dome team playing in Buffalo's 4 feet of snow and 25 degrees below zero? That's a no-brainer. Well, even on a cloudy 35 degree day, it's no good for the Rams today. Tatanka!
Final: STL by 3.  The weather was much too nice for Buffalo to take advantage. That, and they suck.

DAL @ CIN (-3.5)
Joe: DAL. The Cowboys are going to make the playoffs.
Mike: DAL. You know, the Browns still have a mathematical chance at the playoffs. A series of Bengals losses will only help. I think Andy Dalton gets sacked 8 times today.
Final: DAL by 1. Dalton getting sacked 5 times was enough as the Bengals blow a 9 point 4th quarter lead.

KC @ CLE (-5.5)
Joe: CLE. The Browns get the blowout they've been waiting for, probably because I'll be in the stadium.
Mike: CLE. You're crazy. The Browns? Winning in a blowout? Not on PS3? Crazy. But yeah, maybe a 7 point win because every game comes down to the final drive for the Browns.
Final: BROWNS IN A BONAFIDE BLOWOUT!! The power of Joe Miller wills the Browns to a dominant victory, despite Joe's presence in the bathroom for many of the exciting plays.

TEN @ IND (-5.5)
Joe: TEN. I'd like to give the points here but I don't see they young Colts ready to blow anyone out.
Mike: IND. Prediction: The Colts will win by a larger margin than the Browns over the Chiefs.
Final: IND by 4.  Colts win but don't cover. Again, little brother is on the money. And my prediction couldn't have been further from the truth.

CHI @ MIN (+2.5)
Joe: CHI. No Harvin or Jared Allen?? Adrian Peterson is amazing but not enough to keep the Vikings within a field goal.
Mike: MIN. I have no idea why I've been picking the Vikes all year but why stop now.
Final: MIN by a TD.  Oh yeah, I keep picking MIN because, as Joe says, AP is amazing.

SD @ PIT (-6.5)
Joe: PIT. Officially off picking the Chargers the rest of the season.
Mike: PIT. Too bad you didn't have that mentality three months ago. Our standings might actually be close...
Final: SD by 10. Hooooorraaaayyyyy!!!!!!!

PHI @ TB (-7.5)
Joe: TB. Officially off....you get the idea.
Mike: PHI. I'm giving it one more week. If it was 6.5, I'd go TB. But with 7.5, surely they can make a few plays. Right?
Final: PHI by 2.  Just when you think you know everything about football, you don't.

BAL @ WAS (-0.5)
Joe: WAS. Screw the Ravens & their crap season.
Mike: WAS. Hear, hear!
Final: WAS in OT. Not only do the Redskins knock off the Ravens, but Griffin is likely out next week against the Browns.

ATL @ CAR (+3.5)
Joe: CAR. One of these games the Falcons have to blow it.
Mike: ATL. How is this only a 3.5 spread? My goodness, the Falcons will win by 20.
Final: CAR by 10. Ouch. I was totally wrong and Cam Newton finally showed up.

NYJ @ JAX (+2.5)
Joe: JAX. Is this Jets offense worse than the Mangini Cleveland offense??
Mike: NYJ. Know what's really sad? The Jets have a better record than the Browns. That won't be the case next year. (Or maybe even by the end of this year.) But I think Sanchez bounces back and has an adequate game to hang onto his job.
Final: NYJ by 7. Sanchez's 12 completions did the trick. Wow, these teams are bad.

MIA @ SF (-10.5)
Joe: SF. Sorry Miami, this will be a terribly long flight back to south beach.
Mike: SF. Yeah, I'm with you here. This won't be pretty.
Final: SF by 2 TDs. Never close.

NO @ NYG (-5.5)
Joe: NO. Sure the Saints can't stop anyone but Brees will redeem himself & keep them in the game throughout.
Mike: NO. Speaking of not pretty, ever notice how Mr. Brees' commercials all feature his portrait from the same camera angle?
Final: NYG big. We must have forgotton that the Saints have no defense. No wonder they needed additional incentives for these bums.

AZ @ SEA (-10.5)
Joe: SEA. Poor Larry Fitzgerald, but he's an idiot for signing long term in Arizona.
Mike: SEA. This isn't a vote for Seattle so much as it's a vote against that lousy team in red.
Final: SEA wins 58-0. There are no words except for these eight.

DET @ GB (-6.5)
Joe: GB. Someone tell Suh that Rodgers handlebar 'stache isn't an actual handlebar.
Mike: GB. Someone tell Suh that his driving is awful.
Final: GB by 7. I went to bed. But it was cool seeing football in the snow flurries.

Monday Night Football:
HOU @ NE (-4.5)
Joe: NE. Brady just had a baby girl, well he didn't but Gisele did. I bet she has abs & perfect skin already. Gisele should be back to modeling in a week or so. Oh, and Pats win.
Mike: HOU. Between Tannehill's woman and Gisele, I think you have an unhealthy obsession.
Final: NE by a ton. Check out the big brain on Joe!

Joe: 11-5; Mike 9-7