Week 16 Picks

Cleveland (+1.5) @ New York Jets
Joe: NYJ. Yes, it's come to this. The worst game of the week. And I'm picking the Browns to lose in some new spectacular fashion because that's what happens every week.
Mike: CLE. Being a Browns fan entering playoff season is like being a newspaper reporter covering the latest Powerball winner. A Cleveland win today mathematically eliminates the Steelers which is as good a Christmas present we'll get at this point. It is worth falling five spots in the 2014 draft to ensure those suckers have no playoff pleasure.
Final: NYJ 24-13. It wasn't even spectacular. Just another typical game where the Browns blow a double-digit lead. Really wish I could have seen this masterpiece. I'll be rooting for you next week, Jason Campbell. Nice knowing you.

Miami (-1.5) @ Buffalo
J: MIA. Still not picking Buffalo. Miami may get that 6 seed.
M: MIA. So long as there's a team in Buffalo, there will always be a franchise worse than Cleveland's.
F: BUF 19-0. Those Bills shut us up, and neither of us care.

New Orleans (+3.5) @ Carolina
J: CAR. It's going to rain and the last time we saw the Saints in weather, they lost to the Jets.
M: CAR. Saints peaked in 2009 (obviously) and this might be their last playoff season.
F: CAR 17-13. Amanda wasn't happy watching the end of this game. She might have said a bad word.

Dallas (-3.5) @ Washington
J: DAL. The Cowboys will wait til next week against Philly to get knocked out of the playoffs.
M: WAS. Cowboys will kick a late field goal to smash the 'Skins. How would you feel about the Browns trading a 2nd round pick to Washington for Cousins? Wouldn't it be good to allocate those two first round picks elsewhere then have Cousins and Hoyer for next year? Otherwise, the Browns will have to trade up even to get Derek Carr and that's not very exciting.
F: DAL 24-23. Washington might be in even worse shape than the Browns. They have the worst defense and special teams in the NFL.

Tampa Bay (-3.5) @ St. Louis
J: STL. Rams D scores at least one TD in this blowout.
M: STL. Yeah, I see a blowout here also which is weird because I don't even know who the QB is for the Rams. (I still almost typed Cardinals.)
F: STL 23-13. No defensive score for StL but they did recover two fumbles.

Indianapolis (+7.5) @ Kansas City
J: KC. Still convinced the Colts are not any good.
M: IND. Agreed. But it's both teams that are overrated. All it takes to beat the spread here is having the Colts score first. What will happen first? Trent Richardson has a 70-yard rushing day or somebody buys his orgy tape?
F: IND 23-7. Well it certainly wasn't Trent busting out on the field.

Minnesota (+9.5) @ Cincinnati
J: MIN. Not too convinced about the Bengals either. Will the NE Ohio curse travel across the state and infect the other Orange and Black team?? I think it will.
M: MIN. Agreed. That's too many points for a mediocre team like the Bengals to cover.
F: CIN 42-14. Bengals didn't look mediocre. And the Vikings looked terrible.

Denver (-9.5) @ Houston
J: DEN. This line should be in the 20s.
M: DEN. If the Browns play in Denver next year, we should make a roadtrip.
F: DEN 37-13. Good call on what the spread should have been. Peyton seals up his 5th MVP.

Tennessee (-4.5) @ Jacksonville
J: JAX. The second worst game of the day after the Browns game.
M: JAX. I don't know where we could find the TV ratings but I bet this pulls a smaller audience than Browns/Jets. At least Cleveland and New York actually care about their teams. Nashville and Jacksonville? Hardly.
F: TEN 20-16. Tough to comment on a game that I don't know anything about. But hey, how about hitting on that half-point. Woohoo.

Arizona (+9.5) @ Seattle
J: ARI. Too many points. Seahawks win but by a TD or less.
M: SEA. I'll give you those points. After all, it is 12-on-11 football up there. If the Browns play in Seattle next year, we should make a roadtrip.
F: ARI 17-10. Didn't see that coming.

New York Giants (+9.5) @ Detroit
J: DET. For the sake of my fantasy championship, I'll take at least 4 TDs from Stafford and 2 from Reggie Bush.
M: NYG. This makes me root for the Giants even more. And I'd love to see the Lions knocked out of playoff contention.
F: NYG 23-20. Stafford and Reggie combine for 0 TDs.

Oakland (+9.5) @ San Diego
J: SD. The Chargers are still in the hunt for the 6 seed as well and it will take until week 17 to decide the winner.
M: OAK. Considering it's a rivalry game, I'll bet on this one being closer than 9.5.
F: SD 26-13. Chargers keep their playoff hopes alive. Of the four teams in contention, I guess I'm rooting for them.

Pittsburgh (+1.5) @ Green Bay
J: GB. Lambeau in the snow, give me the Pack.
M: GB. How about I give you a knuckle sandwich.
F: PIT 38-31. Steelers are the worst they've been in a decade and they still have a playoff chance going into Week 17. That's horrible.

New England (+1.5) @ Baltimore
J: NE. All I want for Christmas is for every AFC North team to lose. And a PS4.
M: BAL. Isn't it time for you to hang up the video game obsession? Aren't you nearly PS40?
F: NE 41-7. Nice to see the Ravens so horrible, I suppose.

Sunday Night
Chicago (+3.5) @ Philadelphia
J: CHI. Philly's season boils down to next week in Dallas, while the Bears need this game to inch closer to a division title. Bears win in a shootout.
M: PHI. Neither team is that good and both teams will make the playoffs. That's a shame.
F: PHI 54-11. This score looks like something out of the 1938 championship.

Monday Night
Atlanta (+14.5) @ San Francisco
J: SF. In a game no one should watch except for fantasy purposes, the 49ers dominate 31-14.
M: ATL. It's the last Monday Night game of the season. I'll be watching... the first half.
F: SF 34-24. You were close but I was closer.

Week 16:
J: 8-8
M: 9-7